So, you've finally found them — the person of your dreams. Now, it seems the next logical step is to get married. After all, you're in love, and that's all you need to handle whatever curves life may throw your way. However, with so many people divorcing these days, it's more important than ever to take the time to consider whether you are truly ready to devote yourself to a life-long commitment.

是的，你终于找到了她-你的梦中情人。如果我料的不错，你们正打算去结婚。毕竟你们相爱，这就够了，其它的都不重要。可鉴于现在如此流行结了又离，那现在就比以往任何时候都有必要问问自己：你做好准备了么？

People spend so much time planning for that special day — the day of their wedding. But what about planning for the actual marriage,
which is meant to last the rest of your life? As you would with any long-term commitment, marriage is something that you should plan for. So before you take the plunge, take the time to consider some things that could have an effect on your level of happiness.

人们为那神圣的一天忙得不亦乐乎。可对于真实的婚姻，要伴随你下半辈子的婚姻是否已经做好计划了呢？婚姻是一份长期的承诺，在你们去见神父之前，为了你们今后婚姻幸福，有些事最好想清楚。

* Are you ready to get married? During their teens and 20's, people change considerably. Until a person has matured as an individual, it is difficult to know if a relationship that worked for them in their younger years will still be working for them years later. Have you experienced everything you wanted to as a single person?

* 你准备好了么？--在人还是20几岁的时候，往往非常善变。直到你成年，都非常难说那种青梅竹马的感情是否能够维持下去。还有，你真没有什么在单身时候想干的事了么？

* Finances — Do you have enough money to get married? Getting married can be expensive. Once you are married, how will you spend your money? Discussing money issues ahead of time, (spending habits and where you each feel your money should go), can prevent disagreements later. Discuss how you and your partner feel about buying, saving, and sharing bank accounts. How will the bills be split up? Will a prenuptial agreement be necessary?  

* 财务问题 -- 你够钱结婚么？结婚可是很贵的（在中国更贵）。一旦结婚，你们打算怎样处理财务问题？事先讨论一下这些问题（消费习惯与倾向）能避免日后的争吵。讨论一下你们是怎么看待购物、储蓄，是否共有银行家庭帐户、帐单该怎么支付？有必要指定婚前协议么？

* How alike are you? Where do you stand on important issues such as religion and having children? Do you both agree on what a "good relationship" looks like? Do your personalities clash or are you in-sync? While some people prefer that their mate to be very similar to them, others feel that differences "spice up" the relationship. What are your expectations from marriage? What are your partner's? Do you think are able to give your partner what he/she needs?

* 你们想要什么？-- 你在诸如信仰和生育方面的立场是什么？对于“幸福的婚姻”这一概念你们是否达成共识？你们的性格是矛盾还是很合拍？有时候人们希望他们的伴侣与自己有更多的共同点，可有些人认为不同的性格是婚姻的调味料。在婚姻里你最想要的是什么？你伴侣呢？你能给你伴侣想要的东西么？

* Personal needs and beliefs — What do you need to make a relationship work? What are your views on important issues such as loyalty, honesty, and dealing with anger? How do your views fit with your partner's? What behaviors are considered to be "off-limits"? Communicate these with your partner.

 * 个人需要与信念--为建立良好的婚姻你需要什么？你们在诸如忠贞、诚实和处理危险方面有什么看法？你的观点是否与伴侣一致？什么是你认为的“底线”？与你的爱人谈谈。

* Communication skills — How do you plan to communicate with your partner? Do you know how to fight fairly? There will be things you disagree on — how will you handle this? Set ground rules for communication, making sure to discuss specific issues such as arguing, yelling, and name-calling. Are you able to resolve issues to reach a compromise?

* 交流技巧--你打算怎样和伴侣交流？你知道如何才算公平的争论？对一些你不认可的事情你打算怎么处理？制定一些规则确定你们可以开诚布公的交流、争论、发脾气、甚至是发泄（理智的发泄？who knows）。你愿意通过妥协解决问题么？

* Life outside of marriage — Having a life outside of your partner is vital, and it is important to maintain your identity rather than to lose yourself in your mate. Discuss how much time you will set aside to spend time with friends, or on hobbies. Are there certain activities that are expected to be discontinued or changed once you begin your married life?

* 婚姻之外--有一点婚姻之外的生活至关重要，在婚姻之外调节你自己远胜于在婚姻中迷失自己。商量一下给朋友或者兴趣的时间。有没有什么事情是你结婚之后不想再做或者一定要有所改变的？

* Do you want to have children? If so, how many? How do you plan to discipline them, raise them, and care for them? How would you handle issues such as infertility and adoption should they come up? Having children brings changes into your relationship and you will have less time to focus on the two of you. It's important not to lose yourself in your new roles as parents, and to find a way to maintain the partnership you have created.

* 要不要孩子--如果要，要几个？你打算怎样培养教育他们？如果你们生不出孩子，你是否考虑收养一个？孩子会改变你们的生活，你们也许没有太多的时间关注自己的事情。你要适应为人母为人父这一新的角色，不要迷失，努力维护你们的婚姻。

* Employment — What are your long-term career goals? Will you have to travel or relocate for your job? Do you spend long hours at the office? Do your work schedules allow enough time for you to spend together? What kind of effect will your job have on your family life? If you have children, will someone quit their job to take care of them?

* 事业--你长期的职业目标是什么？为了工作你会经常出差或者搬家么？你是否需要整天坐在办公室里？你的时间表上有没有和你伴侣呆在一起的项目？你的事业对家庭有什么帮助？如果有了孩子，是否有一个人要放弃工作照顾孩子？

* Sex — Being unsatisfied with your sex life can cause problems in your relationship. Discuss your expectations with your partner, and find out what he/she expects from you in return.

* 性生活--性生活不和谐会造成很多问题。讨论一下你们各自对于性方面的要求。

* Daily life — Who will be responsible for daily activities such as household chores and paying the bills? How will these responsibilities be handled if life's circumstances change — for example, when children are born or work hours are changed?

* 日常生活--谁负责打扫房间、付账单等这些琐碎的日常杂务？如过生活有所改变--如有了孩子或工作时间有变，该怎么处理？

* How committed are you to the relationship? When your relationship goes through changes (which it will), are you willing to take the necessary steps to deal with the changes? Are you open to counseling if you find your relationship is in trouble, or are you more likely to give up?

* 你会轻易放弃么？--当你们的关系发生变化，你是否会想尽办法解决问题？你会不会坦白的质问你们的关系，或是遇到点事就想离了算了？

* Personal space — Are there times when you need to be left alone? Talked to? Listened to? Comforted? Communicate these needs clearly to your partner.

* 个人空间--当你想独处的时候是否就可以？交谈呢？倾听呢？需要安慰呢？与你的伴侣把这些需要讲清楚。

* How to keep your marriage exciting — How will you find ways to keep your relationship satisfying? When do you plan to dedicate time to your relationship and how do you plan to do so? What is your idea of time together — spending time with a group of friends, watching sports on tv, a private candlelit dinner, a walk in the park? Can you make a regular "date night" a priority?

* 你打算怎样让婚姻常新？--你会怎么让婚姻令人满意？你打算什么时候花点时间好好打理一下你们的关系，具体怎么做？你们在一起都怎么打法时间？会朋友？看比赛？烛光晚餐？或者只是在公园散散步？就算是一次普通的晚间约会你也会很放在心上？

* Family/friends — Do you get along with the people who are important in your partner's life? If not, will it cause problems in your relationship?

* 家庭/朋友--你能很好得和你伴侣的朋友或者家人相处么？如果不能，那有的受了。

* Remarrying/Blending families — If you or your partner have been married before, you may have additional issues to discuss. If there are children involved, what will your role with them be? What do you expect your partner's role to be? Discuss what the relationships are with your ex-partners, and what you expect your spouse's relationship to be with those people. 

* 再婚/混合型家庭--如果你或者你的伴侣以前结过婚，你们可能还要多谈谈。如果已经有孩子他们处于什么位置？你希望伴侣出于什么位置？讨论一下你们和前任丈夫或妻子的关系，以及你对这种关系怎么看？

* Know your odds — Statistics have shown couples who lived together before they were married, those who were previously married, and those without a college education are more likely to get a divorce.

*做到心中有数--调查显示，那些有婚前同居经历或曾经结过婚的，以及学历不太高的夫妇今后离婚的可能性更大。（当然，并不绝对）

Why get married, anyways?

那么话说回来，为什么要结婚呢？

Take some time to consider why you want to get married in the first place. Many people get married thinking that they can change the other person. Although people can change, certain behaviors may be difficult to change. Looking at how you have acted in past relationships and with family members can be a telltale sign as to which behaviors you may carry with you into new relationships. The need to recognize what you contributed to the failure of your previous relationships is essential in order to prevent committing the same mistakes again.

首先想想你为什么要结婚？许多人认为结婚之后就可以改变他的伴侣。当然，人是可以改变的，但更多的情况下是不能或者很难。回想一下你以前和朋友和家庭成员之间的关系是个不错的参考，你改变了么？改变了多少？从以往的失败的经验中你也许可以知道今后怎么不犯同样的错误。

Getting married will not fix problems within a relationship. Do you want to get married to get away from your family? Are you doing it for money? Stability? An unplanned pregnancy? Before you "tie the knot", make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.

结婚不会解决已经存在的问题。你结婚是为了离开自己的家么？是为了钱么？为了稳定下来？意外怀孕？结婚之前，你最好有个说服自己的理由。

Love changes everything...

爱改变一切

Marriage is not a fairy tale. The love you share with your mate will change over time. What you need out of your relationship will change over time. The excitement will eventually wear off. Your patience and devotion will be tested. Marriage requires you to give of yourself, to make sacrifices, and to admit when you are wrong. It requires you to forgive when you really don't want to, and to keep on trying no matter how hard you want to give up. It takes dedication, commitment, honesty, and effort to make a marriage last.

婚姻不是童话故事。爱情的感觉会随着时间改变。你希望得到的东西也会变。新婚的兴奋很快会过去，下面将考验你的耐性与奉献精神。婚姻需要你的给予、牺牲以及承认承认错误的勇气。它需要你能谅解你不喜欢的，不管多难你也得挺住。奉献、责任、诚实以及你的努力让婚姻持久。

There is no magic formula to making a marriage work. Sometimes, even the best of marriages fail. Many people enter a marriage expecting their partner to make them "happy" or "complete". However, only you can be held responsible for your own happiness. By taking the time to think about your future and sharing your thoughts with your partner, you have already taken the first step in making sure your relationship can stand the test of time.

没有什么魔法能让婚姻永远幸福。有时候最好的婚姻也会完蛋。许多人结婚希望能够开心或者完善自我。毕竟只有你可以掌控自己的幸福。花点时间，与你的伴侣了解一下彼此，规划一下未来，这样你们也许更能经受住时间的考验。